An essential lesson for every girl

No mother or father ever tells their daughter to take care of herself because her family needs her. An essential lesson for every girl….

The difference between arrogance and self respect. If you raise voice against being abused or ill-treated  or if you expect basic respect in return, you are called arrogant, egoistic and feminist.

The difference between giving importance to self and being self-centred.
You are blamed of being self centred when you also want to be given equal importance in the family.

The difference between compromising and caring for the family. Only when you make highest level of compromises and sacrifices without even making it known, you are considered to be caring for the family.

The difference between self esteem and attitude. Respect for self is considered as an attitude intolerable and unacceptable.

The difference between grooming for self and grooming for others. You are required to groom according to the family’s wish or husband’s wish. Mirrors are meant only to see yourself through others eyes and not your own.

The difference between nourishing the kid in you and being immature. If the kid in you is alive, you are known to be dumb and immature but your innocence and inquisitiveness is never valued.

The difference between setting expectations and being truly. If you put forth your likes and dislikes, what hurts you or what you don’t like,  you are known to be too demanding ruling over others and not accommodative.

The difference between strength and tolerance.
Your tolerance towards other people’s torture, physical and mental harassment is called your strength. Such a wrong way of defining strength.

The difference between being ambitious and insensitiveness. If you respect yourself, your ambition, your career,  you are selfish and insensitive.

The difference between obedience and being submissive. You are required to be submissive, not have a voice against anything unjustly. You should adhere to everything your better half or family dictates. Thats called obedience instead of submissiveness.

The difference between being stylish and carrying self well.
Its not wrong to be selfish or carry yourself well actually. But if you are carrying yourself well but blamed of being a style freak, its fine to be considered so.

The difference between empathy and having no preference for self.
The moment you prefer self over others in even a single instance, all the empathy you’ve shown towards others all the while for years is nullified.

The difference between co-existing and sharing a roof.
Living with someone under one roof and sharing each others pain, chores, responsibilities, loving each other are two different things which do not mean the same.

The difference between dominance and love.
In a relation, your opinion should count, your thoughts should not be suppressed in the name of love. The husband should also be willing to accept, support and treat you as equals and not only dominate you.

Wish we could make our daughters strong at heart and thoughts. We could make better daughter-in-laws and a better world in turn. It would lead to a society of responsible and loving men, sons, husbands, son-in-laws who would promote women’s respect by not only preaching but following too.

-Sucheta Gour