Are you married and unhappy about getting exhausted in a relationship? Both feel I’m doing more than the other. Both feel the latter is ungrateful. And one of them ends up getting exhausted at times. It’s okay to be the one who is doing more in a relationship. The only criterion is not to bring frustration with the other for doing more if you gain happiness and contentment in making your loved one happy. But, the nonnegotiable action is not taking the one doing more for granted and being ungrateful about the same. Again, what is the solution? Don’t exhaust yourself, be vocal about your unhappiness sensibly and maturely. Give a lot of time to yourself and pass a few of your responsibilities slowly to the other in a planned way without causing friction in the discussions. Many things can also be sorted without nasty arguments and comments at the other.
Every boyfriend or girlfriend is perfect and every husband or wife is imperfect.
Reasons 1) Expectations are nill in a courtship.Expectations are sky high in a marriage. 2) You dont stay together.You have that breathing space away from the other for yourself. 3) Fear of losing the other is higher.Fear of losing the other is nil.
4) The attempt to impress and being impressed is on.You know the other like the back of your hand.
I pity these women who get An addict for husband (alcoholic, smoking, tobacco, drugs etc…,) A lazy person or A timid person with zero confidence The family gets him married with the so-called their version of ‘HOPE’ that he will improve after marriage. And the bride is completely unaware of these hard facts.
She agrees for marriage with her version of HOPE that she is getting a life partner who will love her, respect her, care for her and understands his responsibilities well towards her, their family and the future. She comes together to find shelter under him in the society to love, respect, care- for him and his family and be reciprocated for all of it. To her dismay and distress, she discovers the adverse situation hidden and finally comes to terms with it. This is where her version of HOPE disappears and merges with the HOPE of her husband’s family. Suddenly she starts believing that she is the reincarnation of Satyavan’s Savitri who fought Lord Yama for her husband’s life. She takes his cruelness, frustrations, disrespect, harsh words, comments, ill-treatment more like a servant than a wife. And eventually forgets her identity, her wishes, the definition of happiness, love, marriage, care, partner and lives a mechanical life with minimal feelings for anything. A life ruined for someone’s ‘HOPE’. Should it be called ‘HOPE’ or GAMBLING with someone’s life because you have raised an unworthy human being?
Women need not be raped forcefully. Men know better ways to have her. Connect emotionally, pretend ethical, sympathize her, be empathetic, gather sympathy from her, admire her and appreciate her.
There she goes flying in his arms to love him unconditionally, falling prey to his tricks. Thereon she wakes up only to know she has lost herself to a wrong person. So women out there be aware of such treacherous people.
If you need a shoulder find one of your gender – a friend or if another gender a person whom you know for really long and who won’t make advantage of your situation and just lend you a shoulder in a fair way.
Your situation should not become someone’s opportunity.
Educate your Daughters, Wife, Sisters and Friends to handle their emotions well. Observe them closely if something is bothering them. Motivate them to speak out and share. Lend them a shoulder when they need you the most. Reiterate your support and love for them. World out there is very selfish, opportunist and unethical to the core.