Are Men doing enough to protect Women? who created ths bias?

All men need to carry only one ethical social responsibility towards women.Create a world where their daughters, wives and sisters will be safe. The actual problem is the division  between their dear ones and others in their mind. The belief that I will keep my world protected and cast an evil eye on other’s world. As the saying goes, “What goes around has to come around”, so , none of the women turn out to be safe.Your daughter, wife is someone else’s prey. Other’s daughter, wife are prey to you.

We are still in the animal thought process. We dont stand for or with a woman insulted, humiliated, despised, mis-behaved because the fire hasn’t reached our homes yet. We are waiting for it to reach by adding fuel by promoting this culture. We are fine to pass comment, degrade as a woman or a man on another woman who is a colleague, boss. Because we see competition for self in her or our ego being hurt. Our egoes are hurt on a woman arguing and not when a man argues. So, who created ths bias? We are envious when we have a competitor, male or female but we attack the gender perpective when women, why? We complain about a woman’s commitments back home. We never speak about the man who doesn’t help her in her chores.

There are good and bad people in both genders. We can’t term anyone bad just because of the gender. Agreed 1000%. Then why are we trying to protect our daughters, wives more than our sons or husbands? Dont we trust our own kind? 

And I appreciate all those men who say I’m not this character described above. Done.
But, being a silent audience watching this all around even with our closest relatives, friends being on the attacker or tale bearer side. Aren’t we being passive ?

-Sucheta Gour

Daughters are angels. As a mother, you live your life twice with a daughter.

Daughters are angels. As a mother, you live your life twice with a daughter. They are mother’s shadow and reflection. As a father, you see your mother, sister, daughter all in one person – that adds to feeling the warmth of all three relations again and throughout. They are Dad’s  great treasure. So the joy a daughter gives is infinite, invaluable and unmatchable.
Deep in her heart, she always belongs to her parents.
Daughters are cutie pie, sugarplum, adorable, sweetheart, beloved, lovable, precious, delightful, heavenly,  a doll, light of life, God’s best gift etc.., etc…., to infinity.
Their smiles, laughters, innocence, tantrums, wishes .. are just out of the world.
You feel complete when they are around.
Happy Daughter’s Day to all the ones who have one and to those who are one!! You make the world ‘Wow’ with your presence.

-Sucheta Gour

Happy Independence day!!

Adopt Independence from all the harmful thoughts and actions like enmity, jealousy, selfishness, hostility, distrust, antagonism, ill-will, bad-mouthing, destructive thinking, over-assumption, lack of confidence, laziness, poor focus, lack of purpose, lack of persistence, procastination.
From the chains fastened around your mind and soul.
Happy Independence day!!

-Sucheta Gour

Just because you are a woman, you need to learn to cook. Why?

You are a woman, you need to learn to cook. Why? Just because you are a woman. Let us stop relating everything to a gender and gain sympathy. Let us take pride in being the nutritionist and a chef for our family. We cook so that our family gets the best of the food.

Even a man can think accordingly. But women have been more consistent , mindful and better skilled due to the society’s impositions. The prototype will change over a period of time.

But whoever is cooking owns the responsibility of a nutritional food on time all the three times with great taste most of the meals you serve. So keep the gender aside. Cook for you near and dear ones with love.

– Sucheta Gour

Woman are made strong by everyone she has and does come across

Hey Woman!
Care for all, but belong to self.
Uphold everyone’s emotions, but be practical in your head.
Love your family but, expect from none.
Support others, but never give up on making your identity.
Be a giver and never receive.
Laugh, smile all your life, because grieving and mourning isn’t worth it
All the above,

Not a symbol of humbleness, but strength.
And Woman are made strong by everyone she has and does come across.
So when so many contribute in making a woman strong, their efforts are bound to yield.
Here we are, strong as ever.

Not a feminist, but proud of being a woman.

-Sucheta Gour

Stand for the right. Stand for the downtrodden if they are right. Not the victim alone.

Its not violence against a community, profession, gender, category that needs to be opposed. Its violence against anyone who is right that needs to be opposed.
Next question
Who gets to decide, who is right?
Is the victim of violence always right?
An instance
There was a harassment to a girl occuring by a random person who was violently handled by a mob and this turned the culprit into a victim?
A doctor was reluctant to treat a patient and the mob dealt with him with violence. The doctor is a victim?
A patient was treated incorrrectly by a doctor, but becase of the limitstion of hospital or infrastructure, the patient died. And the mob punished the doctor holding him responsible.
The doctor is a victim?
A group of anti socials were stopped of executing a harmful event by police, but the police had to resort to violence. The anti-socials are victims?

From the above statements, a gender, community, or a profession cant be sympathised or considered victim always.There are victims and faulty people on both the sides in different scenarios. The ones who harm are bound by their duty, or limitation or emotion or situational temperament.
And the victims might be bound by weakness, ignorance, influence.
Stand for the right. Stand for the downtrodden if they are right. Not the victim alone.The definition of victim is varying according to different dictionaries of people in different scenario.
We have been taught to stand for our community, our peers, friends or family. Our worlds are narrowed and divided by considering ourself belonging to a certain category.Let us widen our horizons. Unite to think of self as a part of huge family, all the living beings of this world. Stand for humanity, mankind. STAND FOR THE RIGHT irrespective of the label on the victim.

-Sucheta Gour

If wives aren’t respected how can Moms be respected?

Moms are respected where wives are respected. If wives aren’t respected how can Moms be respected? The day husbands understand this, the sons and daughters will start following a righteous dad who will respect his wife and in turn respect the Moms.

-Sucheta Gour

Applying to most of the scenario

Applying to most of the scenario…..

When a woman is aked in an interview, are you married?
The question doesnt mean her potential decreases after marriage. It only means thereon she cant prioritise her wishes and ambition alone and she is bound by the influences and instructions of her husband and in laws who wouldnt prioritise her career like his own.

When  a woman is asked do you have children?
It doesnt mean her responsibilities have increased and so she is incapable of handling them. But, it is understood that she wont get any help from her husband in raising the child and only she has to own the sole responsiblity of raising the child. There would be only financial aid from husbands in the name of owning the responsibility.

When a woman is asked, are you willing to relocate?
The answer is ‘No’ in most of the cases.
Who is saying this ‘No’? Is it herself or she is just being a mouthpiece?

Still do you feel, these questions are pointed out at woman or are unnecessary?
Well…I dont feel so.Rather let us ask the husbands and family answer these question for wives and daughter -in -laws.
Is it a common practice that the family and husband follow a woman’s career? No.It isnt.
That explains it all.

-Sucheta Gour

An essential lesson for every girl

No mother or father ever tells their daughter to take care of herself because her family needs her. An essential lesson for every girl….

The difference between arrogance and self respect. If you raise voice against being abused or ill-treated  or if you expect basic respect in return, you are called arrogant, egoistic and feminist.

The difference between giving importance to self and being self-centred.
You are blamed of being self centred when you also want to be given equal importance in the family.

The difference between compromising and caring for the family. Only when you make highest level of compromises and sacrifices without even making it known, you are considered to be caring for the family.

The difference between self esteem and attitude. Respect for self is considered as an attitude intolerable and unacceptable.

The difference between grooming for self and grooming for others. You are required to groom according to the family’s wish or husband’s wish. Mirrors are meant only to see yourself through others eyes and not your own.

The difference between nourishing the kid in you and being immature. If the kid in you is alive, you are known to be dumb and immature but your innocence and inquisitiveness is never valued.

The difference between setting expectations and being truly. If you put forth your likes and dislikes, what hurts you or what you don’t like,  you are known to be too demanding ruling over others and not accommodative.

The difference between strength and tolerance.
Your tolerance towards other people’s torture, physical and mental harassment is called your strength. Such a wrong way of defining strength.

The difference between being ambitious and insensitiveness. If you respect yourself, your ambition, your career,  you are selfish and insensitive.

The difference between obedience and being submissive. You are required to be submissive, not have a voice against anything unjustly. You should adhere to everything your better half or family dictates. Thats called obedience instead of submissiveness.

The difference between being stylish and carrying self well.
Its not wrong to be selfish or carry yourself well actually. But if you are carrying yourself well but blamed of being a style freak, its fine to be considered so.

The difference between empathy and having no preference for self.
The moment you prefer self over others in even a single instance, all the empathy you’ve shown towards others all the while for years is nullified.

The difference between co-existing and sharing a roof.
Living with someone under one roof and sharing each others pain, chores, responsibilities, loving each other are two different things which do not mean the same.

The difference between dominance and love.
In a relation, your opinion should count, your thoughts should not be suppressed in the name of love. The husband should also be willing to accept, support and treat you as equals and not only dominate you.

Wish we could make our daughters strong at heart and thoughts. We could make better daughter-in-laws and a better world in turn. It would lead to a society of responsible and loving men, sons, husbands, son-in-laws who would promote women’s respect by not only preaching but following too.

-Sucheta Gour

When is a woman spoken bad about?

When is a woman spoken bad about?

By a man……

When he can’t have her.
When she is superior to him.
When she doesn’t need him.
When she is not beneficiary to him.
When she is better than him.

By a woman…..

When she cant be matched.
When she knows to be happy.
When she is respected by others.
When she is better than her.

-Sucheta Gour