• No one gets to live a perfect life, a perfect relation. • Desire is the cause of misery. • Be happy with your lives. • Expectations ruin relations.
80% of Indian women have taken these statements so seriously that they eventually have landed up in a compromise of highest level with their lives. They’ve sacrificed themselves in the name of integrity, responsibility, family dignity, commitment and society. Their confidence levels are so low that, their expectations have reduced to food, shelter, clothing and a man’s protection in the society. They dont know how normal relations and a happy life would be. Their identities are either as a wife, mother or daughter. They dont exist as human beings in the first place with emotions and individual thoughts or ideologies. Their cant be a differentiation between a machine and them.
If they object or try to correct or keep expectations, they are treated like anti-social elements of the society or revolutionists. Wishing their own happiness, thinking of having their wish list also is beyond their imaginations. Whereas on the other hand, Men can have expectations from their wives throughout their lives. Women have to be instrumental in every way to satisfy his wish list either directly or indirectly. And inspite of her contribution in the man’s success, she is not credited with even due respect for her existence on the earth. This is where we stand as a society. India is an agricultural and labour force – focus country. And this is how, women are placed in both these areas.
Poor or middle class family kids have only one medium to earn respect, popularity and money…so they resort to education. Rich kids have money, luxuries and borrowed identity from their parents which brings them respect under the umbrella of their family name or parent’s authority in society. There isn’t any rejection or despising which they face. They don’t come across a reason to drive them to rise above where they are. They feel, they are already on the top.
They are exposed to our discussions about practically every aspect.
As parents, we should know, how much and when the child deserves something. How it should be given? We should teach them, how to accept their status and richness? How much to carry of it at any given point of time? We ought to chose what we should filter out before giving to our child so that they do not develop the overconfidence and misuse our success to their opportunity.
Raise children with right and clear expectation about parents, life and people around. Else we give them so contented a life, that, they do not yearn for anything from their life. A contented life beyond necessity doesn’t take us even a step ahead.
‘S/He will be there for me’ is a great feeling than ‘S/He doesnt have a choice than be with me’ or why should S/He need anything, when my presence in her/his life is enough.
No.. its not enough, you got to prove that you are worthy of the other by trying to know him/her, help him/ her , share his/her problems and tasks, value his/her caring and respect him/her. We take our spouse for granted. Thats the point when relation starts disintegrating.
Differentiate the two feelings well. And adopt the right feeling. Else choices can always be made by individuals at any point in life. Though it might end up harming both ends. S/He can make choices otherwise if S/He has had the courage to suffer in silence.
Do not provoke the calm, settled emotions of a person to the extent of creating imbalance in both the lives. Harmony in a relation is the result of efforts from both the partners in a relation.
Care to be cared. Respect to be respected. Love to be loved….
Injustice towards women has been an age old story. Women weren’t safe and happy even in the past. The difference is there was no media and technology to expose and circulate the information so fast and in a massive way.
Secondly very few women stood for themselves or for an other women so strongly, to join the voice against all the brutality they tolerated.
The change will begin when women in authoritative positions will support this movement with right and rigorous actions on time. Additionally the protest to tolerance and pursuance to making strict laws is the only way to compel law makers to induce faster justice in the system.
No more is a scenario where we can sit back assuming we or our daughters, mothers or sisters wont face it.
Only rigorous law enforcement in a defined,systematic,standardized way can create fear in the minds of such sinners and change the future of women.
Showing strength to win a female’s heart is a practice across many species and for ages.
Why is it so important to show you are strong?
To fight with her,
Over power her,
To control her,
To look down upon her or
To show other males that I can win and own her as a reward or prize
To prove to her that I’m going to protect you against all harm.
I’am strong enough to take your tantrums, your mood swings, your demotivations and be beside you in all ups and downs with a strong and stable mind and heart.
Women are never in anyone’s prayers.Men are in every one’s prayers.
A wife prays for her husband. A mother prays for her child and the whole family.
But hardly we’ve seen women being in anyone’s prayers unless she is suffering from an ailment.
Shouldn’t this approach change?
When someone is unconditionally praying for your well being relentlessly. You also should pray for her at least once a while. Such a person needs prayers the most to be healthy, balanced to keep the balance in your world.
Care and concern for everyone around her is in the nature of a woman.She need not be trained or prepared for it.Neither can she pretend of not having those in her. Those are her inborn qualities. Be it in the form of mother,sister,daughter,wife or a friend, she is always in form.
Women are over worked out so they get frustrated with everyone around.Their efforts about being perfect towards every relation exhausts them. I want to make everyone happy. No one should be discontented. She tries to live everyone’s dream forgetting her own. And in pursuing this goal, she herself remain discontented.
And finally at one point of life,when everyone in her life is used to her this behavior, but she grows older where she cant keep doing the same, she gets frustrated.
Or if everyone goes their ways which is the law of nature but, without being grateful towards her for all the sacrifices she voluntarily made, she starts to become selfish, possessive in few of the cases or just becomes silent or disconnected towards every relation around.
Identity of a woman is not defined by a good son, Successful husband or contented in-laws / parents, but by her ability to bring the best out of anything and anyone that comes her way which includes herself too.
She doesn’t need an introduction, isn’t desperate for reputation. She feels contented every time she is successful in adding value to others life as well as hers.