Every Manager is on the look out of that person who wont take too many leaves, doesn’t need follow up for every activity, who can understand the pulse of the client, who can meet deadlines without reasons, who believes in every target set by the Company, who will not show tactfulness in managing Manager but the team, who will not do the same mistake twice but does different mistakes everytime and learn from every mistake, who will be open to learn throughout his career, who will belong to the company or team he is working in, who will not involve in office politics, who will not consider his team just a tool for his own success, but as his companions for the journey to succeed.
Seems like more than what is expected in a bride or groom hunt. Do you find such people? No, Managers can raise such people provided the team member believes in the Manager.
When you were a child, no one told you ‘Its impossible’ You were required to learn 7 subjects with different logic and approach. You were supposed to aim at nothing less than 70% marks even as a worst scenario. You were required to be keen on co-curricular activities too. You were always compared with the best of all in all the aspects and motivated to chase. Sometimes with a stick or sometimes with a chocolate. Contentment of a parent about the child was a dream.
You had 24 hours to go to school, eat, sleep, play, study, take up your co-curricular activites. You were not so wise to be stressed. And aware that worrying never changed future. What a blessing?
You had peaceful sleep every night. Your competition was with many and in different aspects. Competition didn’t demotivate you. Everything felt like achievable. Whatever you could’nt achieve, you had the courage and confidence to accept your shortfalls on a very positive note that “I didnt work hard, I skipped classes, was more playful but it wasn’t that I was dumb.”
And then we grew up to blame everything other than self. Everything was impossible. Going to office became a herculian task. Deadlines started giving us sleepless nights. It seemed like we were required to learn and apply rocket science everyday. We weren’t good enough to achieve anything great. We felt survival itself was the greatest achievement. What went wrong? We drew lot of boundaries and limitations around our brain. We didn’t have our parents to motivate and say nothing is impossible and you are too good to give reasons or keep us grounded when overconfidence surrounded us. Now we all know what happened to us. Can we make an attempt to correct ourselves?
We always regret of not having done many things when people go far away from us. Be it parents, children, friends etc.
Parents- when they die, we feel, they should have stayed some more years, they would have been able to spend more time with us, our children, witnessed our success, their grand children’s wedding or success. Even parents speak of their intentions in the same way when they would have been alive.
Children- when they go away, you repent your wrong parenting or inadequate time spent with them or gaps in the approach as a parent towards your child. Its fine if your children are’nt able to give you that time now. They do not have to compensate for your lapse.
Friends- I would have gone to those places, enjoyed life a little more with him/her. We had to part ways for our own life’s commitments and demands.
I feel when we speak of contentment and self control, the lesson and implementation should start from here. Do cherish them. The good times. There will be loads of them. Bring a smile on your face with their memories. Justify your existence in their lives when they would be alive or with you. Don’t regret their absence or your doings after they are gone. They were human beings, they had to go, they didn’t come to stay here forever with you. And no one on the earth is 1000% satisfied with life, relations , God and everything they have.
You can only ‘TRY’ to please people when they are alive or with you. You can’t bring them back and satisfy them either. So let your self free from regret and grief. Be thankful and contented for the time spent with them. No one was born with us and will not die with us either. Same applies to all.
The interpretation of the religion is wrongly conceived for convenience by people. The intent of creation of religion was to give a way of living, build strong ideologies for a disciplined life and get wiser in thought process. The only objective it achieved was dividing people, narrowing down their thought process, developing superiority complex and despising upon others.
We earn all our life, spend a bomb on our child to educate him and aim at getting him into the best of the company for a great career. We take pride in saying our son/daughter is working in MNC/ UK, US etc.., with a handsome salary and good life. And then we want him/her to feel guilty of not caring for us, not giving us time and not being by our side or not visiting us often. We are reluctant to stay along with him/her in the place he/ she is working because our adapt abilities in new place, new people are poor with growing age.
Why so much conflict on the mind? Why gather sympathy from our peers that our children have ditched us? Do we ever raise our child to live on our earnings and property and to just take care of us. If so, why educate them, why give them a dream. In today’s world where 1/3rd of life goes in travelling, 1/3rd in discharging duties towards spouse and children and more than 1/2 of the life in job and career which was/is a joint dream of us and our children, should we complain about petty things and hold our children back from progressing?
We learnt to operate mobile, Whats app, Facebook, Instagram with a flick of the eyelid. But we are reluctant to use big basket, swiggy, Ola, Mediassist for our essentials. We want our child to help us with all of it. Why such selective ignorance? Just to seek attention from our child and reassurance that they love us?
Life has got difficult for our children compared to what it used to be for us. In spite of technology, better communication modes, better facilities, we have made life worse for them by putting the biggest hurdles called ‘ COMPETITION’, ‘ ‘PEER PRESSURE’ on their mind. We have set the racing track while we sit at the bay and complain about our petty needs and wishes which we never prioritized when the race began. Now when they are in different laps of the race of life, we wish to say co-exist in two places in the most justifiable way. In the race following the dynamics of the race and paralleled along with us on a lazy note hearing and addressing our petty issues, our needs, greed, our false notions , glorified assumed intentions about relatives and friends.
Anyday, when there is an accident, car driver is wrong not the biker. Any day in a tussle between the Management and Employee, Management is wrong not the employee When parents are old, and in a conflict of thought process between both sides, the son/daughter are wrong not the parents. Mostly, men are wrong, whenever there is fight between a woman and a man.
Why this bias?
We never even try to look from the other angle, the decision is spontaneous and automatic. From ages, we have labelled certain category as wrong and the perception is fixed. Time to have a broader view and an unbiased approach.