‘S/He will be there for me’ is a great feeling than ‘S/He doesnt have a choice than be with me’ or why should S/He need anything, when my presence in her/his life is enough.
No.. its not enough, you got to prove that you are worthy of the other by trying to know him/her, help him/ her , share his/her problems and tasks, value his/her caring and respect him/her. We take our spouse for granted. Thats the point when relation starts disintegrating.
Differentiate the two feelings well. And adopt the right feeling. Else choices can always be made by individuals at any point in life. Though it might end up harming both ends. S/He can make choices otherwise if S/He has had the courage to suffer in silence.
Do not provoke the calm, settled emotions of a person to the extent of creating imbalance in both the lives. Harmony in a relation is the result of efforts from both the partners in a relation.
Care to be cared. Respect to be respected. Love to be loved….
Adolescence has become a dangerous phase for parents. You can be the best parent and still be wrong without knowing where you went wrong. Who is at fault? Who should decide? The parent or the child? If parents decide and go with their understanding, the child finds them wrong. If the child decides, then anyways, parents are wrong. If no one decides, still with the current trend, the child doesn’t count on his parents and feels he is alone.
Thanks to social media, which is forcing children into creating an identity of their own ….very different from their parents at an early age. Bear the pressure of the opinions of peers and unknown people about the created status. And finally get into depression, distress, or commit suicide. Social media is giving the children unwanted importance, and they are building a wall of prejudice for themself. And then parents are left with only regrets and questions which have possible illogical reasons. Children are smart, intelligent today but only in bits and pieces. They can speak but no holistic approach to life. Most of the children today have social media as their parents. And with all their borrowed wisdom from Social media only in words, we feel they are better than us.
We feared what our parents would say. They fear what will the virtual world and their friends say. Our generation also was conscious of their image among their peers but was strong enough to overcome it. We were better. Generally, we never dared to create a situation for parents anytime to regret despite being right at times. We were confused, but we knew our parents could decide the best for us. We were impulsive, but we respected our parents to the extent of subduing our impulsiveness. We got so many blastings, whether right or wrong and still, we felt there is a long way to go…to learn to improve throughout our lives. Turning out to be right was a never-ending process, but today’s children think they are correct, and parents are wrong from the beginning – from childhood and not even adolescence.
They are so keen on justifying with a dominance that parents are wrong and they are right. They see a glimpse of others’ families -a perfect picture visible superficially or partially and feel everything is wrong at their own home or with them..comparisons are partial pictures with complete pictures. This picture will be shown to anyone by all with some hidden realities. How can they match?
Formal education on Social media for a defined tenure is a must for children today. The more we delay or ignore, the more disasters. We need to teach children life skills and how to apply their minds spontaneously than referring google for anything simple thing or complicated thing too. For instance, if a kite is stuck in a tree, to remove it, they will want to google it out. Online games are the only games they know. Insta is the only time pass they have. More the followers, the more the pressure to keep up your public image. Texting on Insta is the single communication mode they know. We have to teach them not to be carried with the opinions on social media.
Time to build a child’s mental and emotional health. We have to pull our kids out of this sooner. It’s every parent and society’s responsibility.
Its better not to give any property or immovable assets to our children. The claims that come in when you are gone are unimaginable. Its like leaving behind a bunch of enemies in the disguise of relatives. Fighting your own kith and kin is a great heartache. Additionally the battle you have to put up for years keep you exhausted on your time, emotions and energy.
And above all, is such a fight worth it? An other fear is what if your child doesnt achieve anything by himself on his own capabilities. By giving him a secured feeling of having property arent we giving him an option to be lazy and not work hard. Are we raising our children to carry only our identity or build their own? Are we selfish than being sensible? Now speaking of securing their education and livelihood cost till the completion of their education. That is the only earning we need to save and transfer to our kid.
Why not give your children best of the education, teach them the best ways of life which would help them earn and enjoy more than what you could give them.
Additionally, we could leave behind so much in surplus for the society. The lower rung of the society which can even be benefited by 1/5th of the property left behind will be grateful. And if they aren’t grateful also, isnt someone else keeping the account of our good and bad deeds?
Every parent has a feeling, whatever earned by me belongs to my child. All of us can earn money for our children. How about earning blessings directly from Him, unfiltered, unaltered?
I pity these women who get An addict for husband (alcoholic, smoking, tobacco, drugs etc…,) A lazy person or A timid person with zero confidence The family gets him married with the so-called their version of ‘HOPE’ that he will improve after marriage. And the bride is completely unaware of these hard facts.
She agrees for marriage with her version of HOPE that she is getting a life partner who will love her, respect her, care for her and understands his responsibilities well towards her, their family and the future. She comes together to find shelter under him in the society to love, respect, care- for him and his family and be reciprocated for all of it. To her dismay and distress, she discovers the adverse situation hidden and finally comes to terms with it. This is where her version of HOPE disappears and merges with the HOPE of her husband’s family. Suddenly she starts believing that she is the reincarnation of Satyavan’s Savitri who fought Lord Yama for her husband’s life. She takes his cruelness, frustrations, disrespect, harsh words, comments, ill-treatment more like a servant than a wife. And eventually forgets her identity, her wishes, the definition of happiness, love, marriage, care, partner and lives a mechanical life with minimal feelings for anything. A life ruined for someone’s ‘HOPE’. Should it be called ‘HOPE’ or GAMBLING with someone’s life because you have raised an unworthy human being?
Speaking out your emotions to your dear ones has been the biggest task for many a people for decades in the past. One good thing I see on social media is people wording their emotions towards their parents, spouse, siblings, children and friends.
I appreciate this trend of creating memories. Not to mean, be on it always but motivate each other in any possible way you can.