I pity these women who get An addict for husband (alcoholic, smoking, tobacco, drugs etc…,) A lazy person or A timid person with zero confidence The family gets him married with the so-called their version of ‘HOPE’ that he will improve after marriage. And the bride is completely unaware of these hard facts.
She agrees for marriage with her version of HOPE that she is getting a life partner who will love her, respect her, care for her and understands his responsibilities well towards her, their family and the future. She comes together to find shelter under him in the society to love, respect, care- for him and his family and be reciprocated for all of it. To her dismay and distress, she discovers the adverse situation hidden and finally comes to terms with it. This is where her version of HOPE disappears and merges with the HOPE of her husband’s family. Suddenly she starts believing that she is the reincarnation of Satyavan’s Savitri who fought Lord Yama for her husband’s life. She takes his cruelness, frustrations, disrespect, harsh words, comments, ill-treatment more like a servant than a wife. And eventually forgets her identity, her wishes, the definition of happiness, love, marriage, care, partner and lives a mechanical life with minimal feelings for anything. A life ruined for someone’s ‘HOPE’. Should it be called ‘HOPE’ or GAMBLING with someone’s life because you have raised an unworthy human being?
Speaking out your emotions to your dear ones has been the biggest task for many a people for decades in the past. One good thing I see on social media is people wording their emotions towards their parents, spouse, siblings, children and friends.
I appreciate this trend of creating memories. Not to mean, be on it always but motivate each other in any possible way you can.
Most of the relations break because of people’s ego’s. Ego turning out to anger. Anger leading to offensive actions against the other. Eventually, bitterness and exchanging wounds never to heal for the rest of the lives. But there are few more people escaping with the reason of ego for convenience.
We need to teach youth to understand the real hard facts of life, the naked truth as it is known and accept them instead of waiting for a fancy pictured life to come true.
What we say are conceived by the younger generation in a complete wrong way. Our momentary frustration are better impacting them to take shortcuts or carry false ego or leaning more towards luxury. So watch out when you show them up.
We the older generation look back in our last years of life and say we should have enjoyed life more or given more time to family or self or better health. Suddenly the realization vanishes that everything you achieved has come with a price tag of your sacrifices.
Do we regret our successes?
What are we trying to say?
We could have reached here without the required amount of sacrifice or focusing on all the things or sailing in too many boats.
Secondly, we carry attitude, don’t compromise on what you are, and try to change just because people are building opinions about you.
Agreed. So does it mean, be the personality you are and don’t improvise or change for good?
You will get what you deserve when time comes, do not get desperate and chase. Someone is successful at the age of 28 and someone else at 18. So wait for your turn with this justification compromising on your efforts big way and not carrying the fire in your belly.
We need to teach our children the difference between stress and pursuing with efforts to reach somewhere better.
Striking the balance between being a Friend and Parent to your Child.
‘We are Parents. We only need to control our Children’
‘We got to be friends with our Children.’
Which of these statements are true?
Well, in today’s world both are equally important and true as well.
The traditional conventional parenting sounds so right any day. But today’s world brings in lot of threat to our Children. So much exposure due to media, mobile, entertainment mode-everything being so openly discussed amidst all. And above all justification to anything and everything just considering point of views and giving way to scenarios. Wrong and convenient notions to many inacceptable aspects. Justification for all kind of lies, all kinds of relation and all kind of actions are leaving the Children confused and hollow from within.
To have a transparency about your Child’s mind, you got to be his friend to know his confusions and give him the right thought process. Before he finds his friends to confide who are on the same note as his you should be his first preference to share all his thoughts.
But apparently it is also equally necessary to exercise your control on your Child. Give enough household chores to your Child from the time he starts his movement. Be unjustifiable at times. It’s ok to do so. Don’t give explanation for everything you ask from him. Else you give birth to insensitive Children. They relate one justification to an other convenience of theirs and demand things from you.
Shift duties between each parent to exercise control on the Child.
Say ‘NO’ to your Child for most of the things which aren’t essential.
Your Child should have the best.
Definitely yes. Makes sense.
But best of what?
Best of the education, best of the books, best of the habits, best of the culture. Fairly good clothes and footwear. Not the best of the mobile, watch, shoes, dresses. These do not constitute for his need. And don’t develop his greed and taking you for granted to an extent that you become their last priority.
He can’t be your friend to command and demand things from you or treat you inferior. His superiority is because of you slogging, compromising and too much of unwanted importance given to him.
Teach him to value your money.
And above all teach him to value you.
Show him people who do not have Parents. Let him interact with such Children once a while.
Keep him away from you atleast for 2 years during his growing years. He needs to know the difference between life with you and without you.
Interact more with him than watching TV with him or communicating less with him.
Communication in the right way is one of the essential aspect of any relation.
We might be less multidimensional, technology savy and shrude compared to our Children. But we will still be there Parents.
Else we are responsible for a generation high on wrong attitude, wrongly tactful, spendthrift, disrespectful Children if no control exercised.
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