What would you chose? Advise or Advisor? Here are three ways to accept advise.
1) Get demotivated that you did not follow it or you cant follow it. 2) Ignore the advise because you have decided that the person just wants to point out at you or look down upon you or trying to throw impression that he knows better or reason out that it isn’t possible to accommodate all advises or the advisor doesn’t carry any credentials to advise.
3) Accommodate the advise irrespective of who is giving it don’t analyse the reason of the person . Analyse the advise alone with open mind. Try to implement or make an attempt at-least. If it is turning out to be beneficiary and improve us, then worth a try.
A Manager’s job is not to make people stressed out at mind with work. It is to make people tired at body and rejuvenated at mind. Rejuvenation at mind is due to the happiness of having crossed boundaries, set new milestones, achieved new targets and explored the potentials of self.
Stress is built only when you feel you have a limitation to achieve something. When you feel helpless, less confident, less skilled and develop a fear of not reaching the goals is when you feel stressed.
And you can tire at body only when you are young. So make your team members work hard when they are young so that they can reach those heights from where they do more of mental work, strategic activity than physical activity like execution or long hours work when they grow older.
• No one gets to live a perfect life, a perfect relation. • Desire is the cause of misery. • Be happy with your lives. • Expectations ruin relations.
80% of Indian women have taken these statements so seriously that they eventually have landed up in a compromise of highest level with their lives. They’ve sacrificed themselves in the name of integrity, responsibility, family dignity, commitment and society. Their confidence levels are so low that, their expectations have reduced to food, shelter, clothing and a man’s protection in the society. They dont know how normal relations and a happy life would be. Their identities are either as a wife, mother or daughter. They dont exist as human beings in the first place with emotions and individual thoughts or ideologies. Their cant be a differentiation between a machine and them.
If they object or try to correct or keep expectations, they are treated like anti-social elements of the society or revolutionists. Wishing their own happiness, thinking of having their wish list also is beyond their imaginations. Whereas on the other hand, Men can have expectations from their wives throughout their lives. Women have to be instrumental in every way to satisfy his wish list either directly or indirectly. And inspite of her contribution in the man’s success, she is not credited with even due respect for her existence on the earth. This is where we stand as a society. India is an agricultural and labour force – focus country. And this is how, women are placed in both these areas.
Poor or middle class family kids have only one medium to earn respect, popularity and money…so they resort to education. Rich kids have money, luxuries and borrowed identity from their parents which brings them respect under the umbrella of their family name or parent’s authority in society. There isn’t any rejection or despising which they face. They don’t come across a reason to drive them to rise above where they are. They feel, they are already on the top.
They are exposed to our discussions about practically every aspect.
As parents, we should know, how much and when the child deserves something. How it should be given? We should teach them, how to accept their status and richness? How much to carry of it at any given point of time? We ought to chose what we should filter out before giving to our child so that they do not develop the overconfidence and misuse our success to their opportunity.
Raise children with right and clear expectation about parents, life and people around. Else we give them so contented a life, that, they do not yearn for anything from their life. A contented life beyond necessity doesn’t take us even a step ahead.
Do not expect people to treat you the way they want to be treated. Do not expect people to understand you. Do not expect people to not be hypocrites. Do not expect people to not eye on your money. Do not expect people to look into mirrors before pointing out at others. Do not expect people not to pass the buck. Do not expect people to not envy you. Do not expect people to stand up and own their responsibility. Do not expect people to not give advises without following it themselves. Do not expect people to take your advises rightly. Do not expect people to be ethical.
The reasons are either people are ignorant or they want to be ignorant or they are reluctant to accept and change. Thus we better stop expecting and zero expectation doesn’t hurt. People modify or behave to their convenience. And in few of the cases, ego also causes disruptive behaviours.
All you got to do is either, • Ignore few of these traits if they are only on their thoughts or, • Follow up to the core and get things done case by case wherever your deliverables are with them or, • Take precaution for the damage these approaches can cause or, • If its causing major loss, exit them from your lives. You cant change people. Change your approach. Carry less concerns on your mind. Free the bandwidth of your brain and heart occupied by worrying about non- changeable people.
Teacher is one person whom everyone will have come across in their lives. Everyone might have come across a teacher in different ways. In a mother, father, teacher, Mentor, Manager,Friend, husband, wife, Child, Client or even a stranger. How much we learnt from any of them can never be measured or evaluated. The Return On Investment of any teachers’ efforts are seen in their student’s success and not in the remuneration they earn. Hats off to such teachers and the feeling of owning their student. Happy Teachers’ Day to one and all!!! I owe the best in me to you all.
‘Being Correct’ and ‘Correcting Others’ – both aren’t welcomed, since, they hurt people’s ego’s and superiority complex.
What is the solution?
If you are correct, walk the path with confidence. Do not be disturbed by other’s opinion. Win over the people with patience , conviction, persuasion and demonstration of your thought by yielding the result.
If you want to correct others, accept the other person’s views first, give an ear, revisit your thought, think beyond your thought and theirs. If you still feel you are right, gradually make your moves towards convincing the thought with demonstrations and instances.
All of these, if the person is of significance, if he/she is worth spending your time and efforts.
We only look for inspiration and motivation in heroes who are recognised and celebrated. Observe closely you find many heroes around you in every day life.
Heroism is never limited to people’s birth, class, race, richness or any such parameter. Their are many unsung heroes who don’t have realisation about their heroic deeds. They dont opt to such heroic deeds to gain or prove anything, but, because its their way of life or they feel it is the right thing to do.
Many a times it also so happens that many of us have stood up to the occasion to help someone or support our family or friends. Eventually it turned out to be a heroic deed.
Learning is never ending process. But there is no fun in learning the same thing again. Progress is when you learn new things.
You are bound to do mistakes. Repeating the same mistakes shows ignorance. Make newer mistakes to grow wiser.
Hardwork is inevitable to be successful. Doing the same work again and again is meant to be making you perfect too. But with age and phase of life, you need to work hard on different and better aspects. Else we grow timid.