Wives are bad, Husbands are bad, Mothers are bad, and Fathers are bad. Daughters are bad, Sons are bad, and Daughter in laws are bad. Why there is never a son in law who is bad. Because the expectations are zero from a son in law. He is only born to receive and not give. Be it gifts, property, money, accolades.
Again sons are bad only after daughter in laws come in. What an illogical theory we have adapted. A son whom we have given birth to, whose culture is ours and whose thought process is developed by us is blamed of being influenced overnight by someone.
A son in law is never expected to pay a mother in law’s hospital bill as a duty. If he happens to do so it is a favor. And a daughter in law’s duty is to spend every penny she has earned for her mother in law when such a situation arises.
A son is supposed to pay a maintenance cost to his parents or at times other family members monthly even if they have a regular source of income like pension or some other source like rent or farm source. This is considered his ethical responsibility else he is an ungrateful son. His love is calculated on his spending capacity on them.
Whereas a daughter is not supposed to support her parent’s even if they do not a have a source to support a comfortable life in their old age.
A son in law should never care for his in laws by being with them in the hospital if they are hospitalised. But a daughter in law is required to do all her duties like a family member.
What a hypocrite society we have built?
When do you know she loves you?
When she can observe you for hours noticing and being amused with every expression of yours. She imitates you unknowingly.
When she forgets to see around when she is with you.
When she is keen on how you see her than how the world sees her.
When she can be the boldest across the world and still shy away when it comes to you.
When she annoys you for small things and fears your anger.
When she finds no flaws in your looks.
When she knows you like the back of her hand?
When she cares for you like an infant and seek your arms to feel secured.
When she cherishes every moment with you.
When she is cautious about her actions not to hurt you even when you aren’t around.
When she wishes your good by habit and not deliberately.
When she trusts you more than herself
When she fears losing you which shows in her possessiveness.
When people place and things remind her of you which means her world revolves around you.
When she is 100% sure you would never hurt her.
When she corrects your wrong and appreciates your right.
When she feels offended about anyone looking down upon you and corrects your flaws before others notice and look down upon you.
When she can find answers for your every question.
Pray for you day and night. When she can fight with God to change your destiny to good.
When she authorise you to be possessive about her love.
When she feels overwhelmed and proud of your success.
When she looks for her identity in you and you become her priority above herself.
When she is never contented by your achievement and keep aiming higher for you raising the bar of perfection.
When she tries every attempt to be your strength and not your weakness.
Stand by you through thick and thin. Motivates you knowing your shortfalls either by provoking you or appreciating you.
Help you recognise your strengths and boost them up. Recognise your weakness and make you overcome them.
When she doesn’t gauge you by your bank balance, but the emotional quotient of your heart for her.
And when all this is done unconditionally, you know you are the one she has chosen to belong to.
A combination of mother, girlfriend, wife and daughter.
And when does the woman get to know that he doesn’t love her?
When he doesn’t value any of the above and still questions your fundamentals.
Treats you like an intruder amidst his family. Is biased by his upbringing and society’s wrong influences alone and hardly behaves educated.
Keeps secrets from you.
Questions your integrity even at the end of your life.
Takes you for granted owing to your gender and the rules of society set for you.
Your 200% love is considered your bare minimum duty and even 10% reciprocation is considered a favor.
Not willing to compromise on his luxuries or fun which are considered needs but your needs are considered luxuries.
When he chooses you to compromise on your career, health and relaxation for his comfort.
When he is unaware of any of your sacrifices, your care becomes nagging and concern becomes irritation and botherance.
When you become one more woman on the earth and no more remain a special person though you do the maximum justice to the relation.
When he is sure that you wouldn’t leave him inspite of all his emotional torture or insensitiveness because your culture and society doesn’t accept your betrayal to him or independence from him.
A combination of a stranger, cheater and an enemy in disguise.
Women need not be raped forcefully. Men know better ways to have her. Connect emotionally, pretend ethical, sympathize her, be empathetic, gather sympathy from her, admire her and appreciate her.
There she goes flying in his arms to love him unconditionally, falling prey to his tricks. Thereon she wakes up only to know she has lost herself to a wrong person. So women out there be aware of such treacherous people.
If you need a shoulder find one of your gender – a friend or if another gender a person whom you know for really long and who won’t make advantage of your situation and just lend you a shoulder in a fair way.
Your situation should not become someone’s opportunity.
Educate your Daughters, Wife, Sisters and Friends to handle their emotions well. Observe them closely if something is bothering them. Motivate them to speak out and share. Lend them a shoulder when they need you the most. Reiterate your support and love for them. World out there is very selfish, opportunist and unethical to the core.
In most cases,
Sons will treat their mothers and wives the way a father treats his mother.
And Daughters will treat their Dads and Husbands the way their mothers treat their father.
There is an immediate imitation from children. So, be careful how you treat your husband or wife. Your kids are watching you and you are setting a legacy. Don’t be surprised, annoyed if they ill-treat you as Mom or Dad, they are your mimics.
And then a defense mechanism and frustration act begin from the mother or father to label that his wife or her husband has xyz drawbacks for her/his behavior like this. So, this way they put down their wife or husband in front of the child; reciprocation for the ill treatment they receive from their husband/wife. Finally, the child gets to know both the parent’s flaws which he/she makes advantage of.
And if you are making fun of your wife before the kid, also have the courage to accept the same from your wife as well. That develops a sense of equality in the kid between genders.
It is very common and easy to glorify another woman, but very difficult and rare to appreciate, support and respect the woman in our life.
How often have we told our Mom,
“You’ve been a Wonderful Mom, I owe you all my good qualities and achievements till now. You’ve made the toughest compromises and sacrifices to make me reach where I am.”
or to your wife –
“You’ve stood by me through thick and thin. I couldn’t have done better in my life without you. You keep me focused on my goals, by keeping me away from all the other worries and challenges of life about home and children. You have supported me to have a good journey of life.”
“If not for you people I would have been a hollow person from within and wouldn’t have reached so far.”
Keep all the awkwardness, funny and strange feeling aside. Speak out, atleast sometimes. Your words make their lives contented. BEGIN TODAY. Your mom will feel proud and acknowledged for all the efforts and compromises of her life.
Your wife will respect, love you more and feel valued. Remember you aren’t giving the women too much importance by saying so. They wouldn’t start flying sky high with your reciprocation of gratitude. They would feel humbled rather. You are just making them feel complete.
There isn’t any point in appreciating them in front of your friends. It’s only glorifying yourself again that you are appreciating your Wife and Mom. You value them, you want recognition and appreciation for doing this too.
Rather dare to overcome your hesitation-speak to them right in their eyes and say ‘THANK YOU’. You will definitely see tears of joy and contentment in their eyes. You will see them feeling their lifetime efforts justified and acknowledged.
Even God needs you to say ‘THANK YOU’ to keep hearing your wishes and granting them. Don’t expect women to be better than God though, we really need to appreciate them to be doing everything for us unconditionally and without any expectation for self.