Here comes the most awaited content.
As the statement goes, ‘Men are from Mars, and Women are from Venus’. Men are less definitive and, most of the time, fail to express complex emotions. Their way of expression is loud, or they are silent. And they don’t like confirming or repeating the same feelings repeatedly.
Secondly, they have grown up looking at a generation where their fathers hardly expressed their love and care for their mothers. More so because there were joint families, or it was wrongly interpreted as a public display of affection or preferential treatment. Only when nuclear families became more prominent did they become more expressive? Simultaneously, the dependency on each other increased even on daily chores, increasing the opportunity to demonstrate care. In urban societies, for every activity, both needed each other, which had to be evident in actions and words. But again, only in modern societies.
Thirdly, women from the older generation knew only to give in the form of care, love and sacrifice without expecting in return. Even care from the husband seemed a favour or beyond imagination since the expectation they set towards men wasn’t set clearly at the start of the relationship. So men were too pampered by women unnecessarily.
Now coming to the comparison with other men,
When women came across a few men who broke these stereotype rules or age-old practices, such women started sympathising self. Or it could have also been that the women saw few instances of other men where they cared or pretended to show off before others to impress people around
Few men also believed their wives were self-sufficient and superhumans, so they didn’t help or care. Even if they loved and cared abundantly, they didn’t know to nourish the relationship by showing care always in even the smallest of activities. They waited for the actual, real big problem or chaos to happen to demonstrate the intensity of their love and care.
At times men also care by commenting negatively about you. Because they are bad with words. The only way of managing when you have a problem with this habit is to be vocal about it.
So with all these approaches, it only shows even if the Man cares and loves deep within, his inability and awkwardness to express, ignorance and confused mindstate as to what would please or impress his lady still exists.
And as the statement goes, Grass is greener on the other side. Even those men who seem perfect as a personality will also have certain traits which aren’t acceptable. Just because you aren’t seeing them 24/7, 365 days of a year, they seem perfect. Their wives will be able to judge them better and describe the qualities they are unhappy with. Partial or temporary visibility of others isn’t enough to create a permanent impression.
Further, appreciate and express happiness when your man shows care or love.
Bottom line – No one can be 100% satisfied with anyone all the time. Everyone is unique in their ways in a relationship. You always crave for what you don’t have than being happy about what you have. Acceptance and moderation is the key to being content in any connection. As Buddha says, ‘Desire is the cause of misery’
- – Sucheta Gour