The life you envy isnt the life that brings happiness to you.
The one you have is envied by someone else. Make the best with your life. Ammend the wrong approaches. Cherish the right ones. Ignore the wrong in people.
Appreciate the right. Life has to go on. Just carry miles of smiles.
We are so fussy about everything. We know only to complain. Election Chaos- Waiting time, crowd, heat of summer, confusions in the poll booth, we have a problem with all of it.
Do we expect a red carpet welcome with escorts leading to air conditioning rooms, cold drinks, cookies when we go to vote? Those days can be the future if we cast our vote in the righteous way today. India being the largest democracy with 140 cr., we are able to manage to conduct elections now without threats, riots and clarity on information to reach the booths. I think this itself is a great achievement. We are fine to wait at restaurants for table for 30+ minutes and at temples for darshan for 2 to 5 hrs. When it comes to casting the vote, why are behaving like doing a favour on our country. We are Indians, we arent guests in our own home to be hosted like one.
The bigger your monetary gain, the more you are motivated to work. Is it true?
Not always.
An entrepreneur needs to work because his monetary gain is higher. He is building an identity for himself and value for the industry. His work hours are 24/7/365. If this is the only truth, why does a laborer work harder, more rigorous, and still earn less? His requirement is only three meals a day and shelter for his family.
Why doesn’t an employee prefer to avail his leaves? Why does he work 12-14 hours daily on many days/months/years to meet client deadlines and company deliverables?
You work according to your motivations. All because whatever reasons people carry – Growth, Money, Career, Recognition, Building a company, Social service, Public service, Basic living, Shelter, and food for the family – all are equally important to the respective people in their different phases of life. The only difference is how they want to conduct themselves to achieve those goals. How committed are they towards progress, betterment, or contentment? How focussed are they on their dreams? What sacrifices are they willing to make? How much do they have to give of themself for success in their endeavors? How much time do they want to spend learning to explore and acquire more and more knowledge?
These are the determining factors. The rich- the poor, the entrepreneur – the employee, and the labor – the manager have their definitive goals and priorities to meet. The luxury of quoting the reasons for being unsuccessful only lies with the lazy and non-focussed people.
Stop giving the reason that people earning more are more motivated to work hard. They only have higher responsibilities and integrities and will execute them at any cost. Also, their mentoring and upbringing in owning their responsibility 1000% towards everything they do add to their approach.
At times, I feel the rich are worrying about everything they don’t need. And the poor are just happy with whatever they have.
The poor don’t need psychological counselling. They don’t suffer from mental health issues. They have a more significant battle – survival.
So, what does it mean?
Are the rich happy after having everything in sufficiency?
So what is essential to be satisfied? Contentment is, being occupied physically and mentally with chores and activities for good mental and physical health. The struggle of the poor towards survival with acceptance towards it is the greatest gift God has given them. The greed to have more with dissatisfaction about everything and the fear of losing even a bit of what they have is the curse the rich have.
And here we are, knowing all these things still accumulate everything – money, property, fame, reputation, finally to leave everything behind.
Then, why are the wiser ones also doing the same?
To give back to society, humanity, and all living beings, and to make a place in people’s hearts.
And the ones who are doing it only for themselves are haunted by discontentment for a lifetime.
New India – A hope. A sense of responsibility. A sense of mutual benefit.
All prevail because of the courage to stand up and own your words and actions, courage to turn wrong into right, courage to show inside out – transparency, courage to make things visible, courage to speak out, and courage to allow deserving and knowledgeable people to carry the baton and run towards the goal. Persistence, Clarity and, sustainability in communication, selflessness motivate the common man to raise the bar in expectations from Govt and bureaucrats.
Why do we face a dead end in our profession?
Whenever struck somewhere or when things don’t turn out the required way, I’ve heard people saying what I can do and play safe, or less confident or ignorant?
We do not have the same answer when we are dealing with our children or our family. We try to find out solutions through anything and everything. Why do we face a dead end when finding answers in our professional matters? Why do we give up even before trying?
Because of the shortfall in giving ourselves to our work in totality or lack of awareness, willingness to explore all the possibilities or fear of failure and over-commitment. We want to believe in only what is visible. We don’t want to explore beyond visibility. We aren’t strong enough to blame ourselves. We are not confident in setting things right.
After climbing up the ladder in the professional hierarchy, giving reasons becomes unacceptable because you are engaged for the results and not for process or reasons.
Professional or personal – Only approach in life is going full circle to find solutions with infinite % involvement and not giving up ever. It yields results, or at least there is contentment with efforts.
Make peace with self. Your expectations with people are the reason for your disappointment with them.
Your expectations from life are the reason for your unhappiness. Your expectations from self are the reason for your depression and frustration about self. So, you are at the centre of everything, with your expectations circling you blurring your vision and direction to your goals, success and contentment.
Learn to make peace with self. Have controlled expectations. Emerge out of the circle with a focus on what needs to be done to achieve measurable success that matters than giving unnecessary importance to self and others.
Here comes the most awaited content.
As the statement goes, ‘Men are from Mars, and Women are from Venus’. Men are less definitive and, most of the time, fail to express complex emotions. Their way of expression is loud, or they are silent. And they don’t like confirming or repeating the same feelings repeatedly.
Secondly, they have grown up looking at a generation where their fathers hardly expressed their love and care for their mothers. More so because there were joint families, or it was wrongly interpreted as a public display of affection or preferential treatment. Only when nuclear families became more prominent did they become more expressive? Simultaneously, the dependency on each other increased even on daily chores, increasing the opportunity to demonstrate care. In urban societies, for every activity, both needed each other, which had to be evident in actions and words. But again, only in modern societies.
Thirdly, women from the older generation knew only to give in the form of care, love and sacrifice without expecting in return. Even care from the husband seemed a favour or beyond imagination since the expectation they set towards men wasn’t set clearly at the start of the relationship. So men were too pampered by women unnecessarily.
Now coming to the comparison with other men,
When women came across a few men who broke these stereotype rules or age-old practices, such women started sympathising self. Or it could have also been that the women saw few instances of other men where they cared or pretended to show off before others to impress people around
Few men also believed their wives were self-sufficient and superhumans, so they didn’t help or care. Even if they loved and cared abundantly, they didn’t know to nourish the relationship by showing care always in even the smallest of activities. They waited for the actual, real big problem or chaos to happen to demonstrate the intensity of their love and care.
At times men also care by commenting negatively about you. Because they are bad with words. The only way of managing when you have a problem with this habit is to be vocal about it.
So with all these approaches, it only shows even if the Man cares and loves deep within, his inability and awkwardness to express, ignorance and confused mindstate as to what would please or impress his lady still exists.
And as the statement goes, Grass is greener on the other side. Even those men who seem perfect as a personality will also have certain traits which aren’t acceptable. Just because you aren’t seeing them 24/7, 365 days of a year, they seem perfect. Their wives will be able to judge them better and describe the qualities they are unhappy with. Partial or temporary visibility of others isn’t enough to create a permanent impression.
Further, appreciate and express happiness when your man shows care or love.
Bottom line – No one can be 100% satisfied with anyone all the time. Everyone is unique in their ways in a relationship. You always crave for what you don’t have than being happy about what you have. Acceptance and moderation is the key to being content in any connection. As Buddha says, ‘Desire is the cause of misery’
A leader should know to speak as well as listen. Else, the team interprets his silence in different ways. It might be weakness, incapabality to motivatate or lack of knowledge and inability to decide. And all the above skills can be derived from listening.
Are you married and unhappy about getting exhausted in a relationship? Both feel I’m doing more than the other. Both feel the latter is ungrateful. And one of them ends up getting exhausted at times. It’s okay to be the one who is doing more in a relationship. The only criterion is not to bring frustration with the other for doing more if you gain happiness and contentment in making your loved one happy. But, the nonnegotiable action is not taking the one doing more for granted and being ungrateful about the same. Again, what is the solution? Don’t exhaust yourself, be vocal about your unhappiness sensibly and maturely. Give a lot of time to yourself and pass a few of your responsibilities slowly to the other in a planned way without causing friction in the discussions. Many things can also be sorted without nasty arguments and comments at the other.
