Fear :: Limit ?

Brain do not have limitations or boundaries. It can think beyond infinity. We want to limit it with our fears.

~ Sucheta Gour

BALANCE !!!

When I wonder about the balance God creates in nature, in and between people, between all the beings, all the times for millions of years, from the smallest living being to the biggest, I wonder how it can be so well timed. 

All to perfection. Hats off to his logic, sustainability, memory, timing so much detailing. No technology can have so much in its store and to such perfection.

And here we are, trying for a lifetime to balance our own life- unsuccessful in all possible ways.

  • Sucheta Gour

REVEALING SECRETS !!!

Do people deliberately reveal your secrets?

Everyone is close to a few people—generally, more than one. 

So when you reveal your secrets to your closest friend, he/she would further share it with another friend closer to him/her and then to another more intimate friend. And that’s how it spreads. Not in deliberation but to share info or a topic to speak of or sympathise about someone’s situation or to find answers from others to the problems.

  • Sucheta Gour

DELIBERATION IN PARENTING

Wash your hands before and after eating anything.

Do not wear your outdoor footwear inside the house.

Change to your home wear clothes once you are home.

Wake up early.

Do not sleep in the evenings at the time of lighting the lamp.

Eat home food and not junk food.

Eat your food in the designated eating area.

Play games which will tire you physically.

There were many a thing we learnt from our parents as default habits.

The irony is today; all those lessons have to be methodically taught, repeating with deliberation to our children.

Again, only if you can follow all the above rules religiously as parents.

  • Sucheta Gour

BODY AND MIND

What do older people mostly speak of?

Oh, we did this, we did that, how much fun we had when we were young. Those were the best days – lots to cherish. But you have many more years to look forward to and plan many more fun things for yourself.

As you grow older, your fears increase because you are dependent on others for many things and their outcome. You feel your energy levels are comparatively low. You feel fragile. 

Emotionally you get carried away easily, get hurt faster, have more time to weigh your strengths and weakness, you are more sensitive and influenced by the negatives and limitations you hear or assume about yourself – all because your mind gave up before your body did. 

At 50, you have 20 more years to go. At 60, probably a decade more. But, still, it’s a great deal of years to give up and live in regret, low confidence, fear or depression.

Remember all those years when you wanted a long break doing nothing, when you yearned for solitude when you have wanted to read all the books you wanted,  missed so many series and movies chasing your dreams and aspirations, all the sleep you wished for, all the lazying you were desperate for.

Life just gave you a golden opportunity to live it on your terms.

You might not be able to go on an adventure trip or party all night, or go biking or trekking.

But yes, you can go for a morning walk, do yoga with your friends, laugh, and crack jokes. Sing karaoke, feel young playing cards, carrom or chess with your friends. Life is always cherishable, even with old age or the worst pains.

  • Sucheta Gour

VOTING CHAOS !!

We are so fussy about everything. We know only to complain. Election Chaos- Waiting time, crowd, heat of summer, confusions  in the poll booth,  we have a problem with all of it. 

Do we expect a red carpet welcome with escorts leading to air conditioning rooms, cold drinks, cookies when we go to vote? Those days can be the future if we cast our vote in the righteous way today. India being the largest democracy with 140 cr., we are able to manage to conduct elections now without threats, riots and clarity on information to reach the booths. I think this itself is a great achievement. We are fine to wait at restaurants for table for 30+ minutes and at temples for darshan for 2 to 5 hrs. When it comes to casting the vote, why are behaving like doing a favour on our country. We are Indians, we arent guests in our own home to be hosted like one.

  • Sucheta Gour

NEED TO WORK MORE IF YOUR MOTIVATIONS ARE BIG MONEY !!!

The bigger your monetary gain, the more you are motivated to work. Is it true?

Not always.

An entrepreneur needs to work because his monetary gain is higher. He is building an identity for himself and value for the industry. His work hours are 24/7/365. If this is the only truth, why does a laborer work harder, more rigorous, and still earn less? His requirement is only three meals a day and shelter for his family.

Why doesn’t an employee prefer to avail his leaves? Why does he work 12-14  hours daily on many days/months/years to meet client deadlines and company deliverables?

You work according to your motivations. All because whatever reasons people carry – Growth, Money, Career, Recognition, Building a company, Social service, Public service, Basic living, Shelter, and food for the family – all are equally important to the respective people in their different phases of life. The only difference is how they want to conduct themselves to achieve those goals. How committed are they towards progress, betterment, or contentment? How focussed are they on their dreams? What sacrifices are they willing to make? How much do they have to give of themself for success in their endeavors? How much time do they want to spend learning to explore and acquire more and more knowledge? 

These are the determining factors. The rich- the poor, the entrepreneur – the employee, and the labor – the manager have their definitive goals and priorities to meet. The luxury of quoting the reasons for being unsuccessful only lies with the lazy and non-focussed people. 

Stop giving the reason that people earning more are more motivated to work hard. They only have higher responsibilities and integrities and will execute them at any cost. Also, their mentoring and upbringing in owning their responsibility 1000% towards everything they do add to their approach.

  • Sucheta Gour

CONTENTED POOR AND DISSATISFIED RICH

At times, I feel the rich are worrying about everything they don’t need. And the poor are just happy with whatever they have.

The poor don’t need psychological counselling. They don’t suffer from mental health issues. They have a more significant battle – survival. 

So, what does it mean? 

Are the rich happy after having everything in sufficiency?

So what is essential to be satisfied? Contentment is, being occupied physically and mentally with chores and activities for good mental and physical health. The struggle of the poor towards survival with acceptance towards it is the greatest gift God has given them. The greed to have more with dissatisfaction about everything and the fear of losing even a bit of what they have is the curse the rich have.

And here we are, knowing all these things still accumulate everything – money, property, fame, reputation, finally to leave everything behind.

Then, why are the wiser ones also doing the same?

To give back to society, humanity, and all living beings, and to make a place in people’s hearts.

And the ones who are doing it only for themselves are haunted by discontentment for a lifetime.

  • Sucheta Gour

KNOW WHEN TO OPEN YOUR HEART AND MIND

Revealing your shortcoming and frustrations to people junior to your age or designation gives them enough ammunition to use on you at the wrong time. Know where to open your heart and mind. We are creating weapons in people’s minds to fight us whether they are right or wrong. Allowing people to get judgemental about you takes away the control and authority you need to execute on others. To gain sympathy or a shoulder to lean on due to momentary emotion, we shake the foundations of the empire we have built.

  • Sucheta Gour

FIRST-TIME LEADERS – TRANSITION TO MANAGER

“My expectation is my team member work, and I will enjoy the designation. I will make only boss around. I’m the Manager. I’ve worked enough to reach here. I no more intend to slog further.” 

The failure of a leader is because he fails to lead by illustration. You can’t be a leader only by giving advice. You should be able to stand up to demonstrate when required and handle the psychologies of the team member well.

Self-discipline is hard to sustain when people look at you as a leader. 

Punctuality, Body language, choice of words, Attitude, Integrity thoroughly, knowledge, interaction, motivation – a sustained approach in all these is a challenge for the leader unless it is his way of life or he is willing to adopt it without the downtime.

Further, leadership transition should possess the maturity to choose between speaking and silence at the right time—the topics for silence and the issues to speak about. The thought process should rise to talk about integrity and efforts essential in the job and company to peers and subordinates.

An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.

It applies in all contexts.  Engaging an employee in productivity is very important. Else he will engage in office politics and life outside the office and prioritize them over time. The control is lost. The employee is reluctant to involve entirely in the job. But the root cause is not known by the Manager.

Again micromanagement is not the solution. But micro-level analysis and emotion management are. A manager’s role is more time-consuming than an individual contributor’s.

Sucheta Gour